If you’re the one being approached, the choice to engage in play with someone is completely up to you. It’s important to be sensitive to your partner’s limits just as much as your own. Be open to their feedback, but don’t compromise in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Ask if they’d be interested in what you’re thinking about. If you’re the one approaching your partner, do so with respect and a willingness to answer questions. Now that you’ve got an idea of what you want to happen, and you have a loose concept in your head of how those things will occur, it’s time to talk it out. Where would you ideally like the scene to take place?ĭiscussing a kink or BDSM scene with your partner(s) Will the scene involve power exchange? If so, in what ways?ĭo you want to have pentrative sex, or simply play around in other ways? Will there be any impact play? If so, what do you want to use or have used on you? Once you’ve got a basic idea, build out the scene in a way that makes sense to you ![]() What are you hoping to experience or feel during a scene? For example, do you want to be afraid, aroused, amused? The task of negotiation is actually quite simple, despite how intimidating it may seem.ĭo you want your partner to do something to you or vice-versa? What exactly does that look like in your head? NO I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).Ġ No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (a soft limit).Ģ Willing to do, but has no special appeal.ģ Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.Ĥ LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.ĥ WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.Many kinksters are intimidated by this vital component of kinky play. Hopefully the breakdown below will give you a few basics for your first kink or BDSM negotiation. * I will do with current sex partner only. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity. There is intentionally some overlap between categories. For example under diapers you might wish to distinguish between " wetting" and " soiling".
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